Periods of scattered relevance are expected within the week.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
Switchback
Must...find...time...to...blog....
I have a lot to tell you. I must report on how Passover went (mostly great), I must rant about negative people, and I must celebrate with you the seventh anniversary of a very important event, involving doctors, nurses, and mad scientists.
To tide you over, newly discovered music that sort of defies description (comment below if you'd like to try). We have so many decisions to make, and along the way we've done it wrong. This song addresses this situation in a cathartically angry manner.
(If you hate this song--and some of you will--it's a near guarantee you'll love the one I include in the next post. Let's see if I'm right. Isn't this fun?)
I have a lot to tell you. I must report on how Passover went (mostly great), I must rant about negative people, and I must celebrate with you the seventh anniversary of a very important event, involving doctors, nurses, and mad scientists.
To tide you over, newly discovered music that sort of defies description (comment below if you'd like to try). We have so many decisions to make, and along the way we've done it wrong. This song addresses this situation in a cathartically angry manner.
(If you hate this song--and some of you will--it's a near guarantee you'll love the one I include in the next post. Let's see if I'm right. Isn't this fun?)
Friday, March 5, 2010
Pesach, Part I
I have a plan to host my own seder. (Be nice to me and maybe you'll be invited.) I want to have it under my roof, so that it can be done my way. Specifically, I want to go through the whole Haggadah, even if we skip parts, but make sure that all the important elements are there, such as the singing parts (not just "Dayeinu," which is the only one my in-laws know, and they only know the "Dayeinu" part), and some of the after-dinner part that people tend to skip. This calls for creativity, strategic advance planning, and holding fast against complaints. Certain members of my family would love to dispense with all that religious stuff and just skip ahead to the meal.
If you've never attended a seder, I'll tell you it can be very long, but it doesn't have to be boring. I will adjust for length and minimize the "boring" parts. I want it to be meaningful, educational, and fun, especially for the kids.
I think that starting a seder very early so that it doesn't end very late is fine. This will help the kids, and my mother, who turns into a pumpkin at around 8:00 p.m.
I think participation is key. I plan to map out a program and give everyone roles ahead of time.
It's okay to have snacks during the before-the-meal part of the seder if you get hungry. My old college roomie's family always had "egg break," wherein when someone calls out "egg break!" and you stop the seder for a bit and pass out hard-boiled eggs. Eggs are a seder staple anyway; they are a symbol of life and fertility and other good stuff.
I plan to hand out hot towels during "urchatz," (which is where you wash your hands but don't say a blessing, because you do that later), because hot towels are a luxury! that we can have because we are free! and not slaves! What do you think?
I like the idea of having funny symbols for the plagues (such as a stuffed cow for cattle plague, or Band-Aids (R) for boils), not that plagues are funny, but it works like mnemonics and helps the kids remember.
I think I'll drink four glasses of wine. I will have earned them. Maybe I should pick up a bottle that's just mine. What do you think?
Issues like kashering and cooking for Passover will have to wait for a later post. I just wanted to get this out fast. Yes, people, I'm posting without reading it over 12 times. Do you believe me? Okay, yeah, I went back and edited, just a little. And then read it on my phone and fixed the typos I saw. What?
If you've never attended a seder, I'll tell you it can be very long, but it doesn't have to be boring. I will adjust for length and minimize the "boring" parts. I want it to be meaningful, educational, and fun, especially for the kids.
I think that starting a seder very early so that it doesn't end very late is fine. This will help the kids, and my mother, who turns into a pumpkin at around 8:00 p.m.
I think participation is key. I plan to map out a program and give everyone roles ahead of time.
It's okay to have snacks during the before-the-meal part of the seder if you get hungry. My old college roomie's family always had "egg break," wherein when someone calls out "egg break!" and you stop the seder for a bit and pass out hard-boiled eggs. Eggs are a seder staple anyway; they are a symbol of life and fertility and other good stuff.
I plan to hand out hot towels during "urchatz," (which is where you wash your hands but don't say a blessing, because you do that later), because hot towels are a luxury! that we can have because we are free! and not slaves! What do you think?
I like the idea of having funny symbols for the plagues (such as a stuffed cow for cattle plague, or Band-Aids (R) for boils), not that plagues are funny, but it works like mnemonics and helps the kids remember.
I think I'll drink four glasses of wine. I will have earned them. Maybe I should pick up a bottle that's just mine. What do you think?
Issues like kashering and cooking for Passover will have to wait for a later post. I just wanted to get this out fast. Yes, people, I'm posting without reading it over 12 times. Do you believe me? Okay, yeah, I went back and edited, just a little. And then read it on my phone and fixed the typos I saw. What?
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
World's Worst Mother Lets Her Sons Pick Up Chicks In A Bar
Einstein and Pumpkin sat on stools at the corner of the bar at the Hard Times Cafe and Cue (Pumpkin needed a bit of assistance getting up there). They were looking around for one of the cute bartenders to serve them drinks. Just kidding! They were playing the video game they have there on the barcorner, one of those with a touchscreen, where you pick from a selection of games that cost different amounts and play until your credits run out.
I sat at a table just beyond, watching their faces, which glowed in the light of the game.
I looked away for a moment and as I looked back, a young lady was handing the boys something. I walked over to see what was going on. "I hope it's okay," she said. "We were watching them play and they were just so cute!" She had given them an extra dollar. I thanked her, and she and her friend walked off. I looked to see which of the many games the boys had been playing.
It was Beer Pong.
When it is time for my children to leave home, they will already know how to cook their own food, do their own laundry, and play their own drinking games. Ready for the world!
******************
Two Friday nights ago was supposed to be Parents' Night Out at the kids' care center. PNO is the greatest invention ever. You bring the kids as you usually do, but then you just don't pick 'em up...until 9:30 p.m. Ten bucks per child, they feed 'em, they entertain 'em, the kids look forward to it, and it is the cheapest babysitting you are ever going to find.
But yes, I did say Friday night. Erev Shabbat. I admit that when there is an opportunity for a relatively inexpensive date with the hubs I say let's do it.
Last week, though, we were blessed with an insane amount of snow. There was some sledding, some sliding, some snowballs, some snow sculptures, even this impressive column of ice joining the roof edge to the deck rail (which further increased girthwise after this photo was taken), but that snow messed up pretty much everything, and it is still doing so. The roads are clear, but making turns when giant snow mounds obscure the oncoming traffic? Very dangerous. In any event, day care was closed for two days--I don't think they have closed once since we started taking the kids there five years ago--and Parents' Night Out was postponed.
Meanwhile, something neat happened. I have a siddur (prayer book) that was given to me as a bat mitzvah gift. It's one of those siddurs you may have seen, published in Israel, small and portable but with an ornate gilded metal cover. My son Einstein (now 7!) picked that book up that Friday and started asking me questions about it. He seemed fascinated and genuinely interested in the answers. He said, "maybe I can read from this tonight when we do the challah and candles and all that stuff."
Because of Parents' Night Out, I had not thought we would be doing "all that stuff," but after Einstein said what he said, I headed out...to Trader Joe's.
I love Trader Joe's. The produce is beautiful, they sell all sorts of interesting stuff you really want to try, it's healthy, organic, colorful. But the thing I love most about Trader Joe's is they carry many kosher products, some of which are hard to find anywhere else. For example, you can buy grape juice boxes that are kosher. It is harder to make grape juice kosher than other kinds of juice, so there are brands of juice boxes that have a hekhsher (that's the symbol showing it to be kosher; includes the U in a circle, the K in a star, and a host of others) on all varieties except those containing grape juice. Trader Joe's has kosher grape.
Best of all, Trader Joe's actually carries varieties of kosher meat, for which I'd have to travel much farther. I should note here that there are those who would not consider meat Trader Joe's sells as kosher, even if it is packaged by a kosher manufacturer/distributor and clearly labeled. This is because Trader Joe's is open on the Sabbath, and so can't really be trusted (topic for another post? oh yes). I am willing to overlook this, given how much kosher stuff TJ's puts on their shelves, the balloons they give my kids, and ... their challah. Oh, the challah. It is SO GOOD. I bought a challah, and some kosher chicken, and that evening, while chanting the kiddush, my elder boy looked over my shoulder and sang with me.
No, he wasn't really reading the words. He couldn't read that tiny English print, let alone the Hebrew, which he's only barely started learning. But he sort of pretended. He wants to learn this, folks. It's clicking; we are starting to identify with the Jew-related things...this is important to Mommy, this is something special that sets me apart, I want to learn more about this, etc.
I know it's possible to teach kids about their faith and get them to want to participate, without having them tell their friends years later, "yeah, I'm Jewish, but my parents forced it down my throat!" I heard kids say these words about their upbringing (Jewish and not), so this worries me. I think everyone rebels; the key is to make sure the connection is there, somewhere, so that the rebellion ends up as nothing but a temporary exception, an experiment that ultimately fails, and then the child is finally sure where he belongs.
************************
P.S. Here and there I'll be highlighting songs from Playlist 40. This is a song list I created for the occasion of my 40th birthday. Most of the songs have a connection to some event or period of time in my life. Many genres and eras are represented; something for everyone! I'm sure you'll find the stories are absolutely fascinating.
This is Tom Tom Club, founded by Tina Weymouth and Chris Frantz of Talking Heads. This song brings back memories of riding the bus to school, since it crossed over into the scope of my bus driver's favorite station, which never would have played Talking Heads in a million years. It also reminds me of the time I went to see Tom Tom Club and Tina W. came out onto the balcony to watch the opener. I react like a starstruck groupie to famous people, especially musician-types, so it was with jelly knees that I approached her to get an autograph.
There's no real story behind this one, but I chose it because sometimes someone puts you in the mood to shout out lyrics like "your conversation never sticks/'cause no truth in you exists/yeah, you bite before you lick/I love ya 'cause you're such a ______" A few of the Playlist 40 songs are the type you sing emphatically at someone, even if the someone isn't there to hear it. "It's moments like these I revel in."
I love The Seekers, in part because that guy playing the double bass wore the exact same glasses as my father. I've never seen this video before today but I LOVE Judith's dress. Oh, and it's a great song.
I sat at a table just beyond, watching their faces, which glowed in the light of the game.
I looked away for a moment and as I looked back, a young lady was handing the boys something. I walked over to see what was going on. "I hope it's okay," she said. "We were watching them play and they were just so cute!" She had given them an extra dollar. I thanked her, and she and her friend walked off. I looked to see which of the many games the boys had been playing.
It was Beer Pong.
When it is time for my children to leave home, they will already know how to cook their own food, do their own laundry, and play their own drinking games. Ready for the world!
******************
Two Friday nights ago was supposed to be Parents' Night Out at the kids' care center. PNO is the greatest invention ever. You bring the kids as you usually do, but then you just don't pick 'em up...until 9:30 p.m. Ten bucks per child, they feed 'em, they entertain 'em, the kids look forward to it, and it is the cheapest babysitting you are ever going to find.
But yes, I did say Friday night. Erev Shabbat. I admit that when there is an opportunity for a relatively inexpensive date with the hubs I say let's do it.
Last week, though, we were blessed with an insane amount of snow. There was some sledding, some sliding, some snowballs, some snow sculptures, even this impressive column of ice joining the roof edge to the deck rail (which further increased girthwise after this photo was taken), but that snow messed up pretty much everything, and it is still doing so. The roads are clear, but making turns when giant snow mounds obscure the oncoming traffic? Very dangerous. In any event, day care was closed for two days--I don't think they have closed once since we started taking the kids there five years ago--and Parents' Night Out was postponed.Meanwhile, something neat happened. I have a siddur (prayer book) that was given to me as a bat mitzvah gift. It's one of those siddurs you may have seen, published in Israel, small and portable but with an ornate gilded metal cover. My son Einstein (now 7!) picked that book up that Friday and started asking me questions about it. He seemed fascinated and genuinely interested in the answers. He said, "maybe I can read from this tonight when we do the challah and candles and all that stuff."
Because of Parents' Night Out, I had not thought we would be doing "all that stuff," but after Einstein said what he said, I headed out...to Trader Joe's.
I love Trader Joe's. The produce is beautiful, they sell all sorts of interesting stuff you really want to try, it's healthy, organic, colorful. But the thing I love most about Trader Joe's is they carry many kosher products, some of which are hard to find anywhere else. For example, you can buy grape juice boxes that are kosher. It is harder to make grape juice kosher than other kinds of juice, so there are brands of juice boxes that have a hekhsher (that's the symbol showing it to be kosher; includes the U in a circle, the K in a star, and a host of others) on all varieties except those containing grape juice. Trader Joe's has kosher grape.
Best of all, Trader Joe's actually carries varieties of kosher meat, for which I'd have to travel much farther. I should note here that there are those who would not consider meat Trader Joe's sells as kosher, even if it is packaged by a kosher manufacturer/distributor and clearly labeled. This is because Trader Joe's is open on the Sabbath, and so can't really be trusted (topic for another post? oh yes). I am willing to overlook this, given how much kosher stuff TJ's puts on their shelves, the balloons they give my kids, and ... their challah. Oh, the challah. It is SO GOOD. I bought a challah, and some kosher chicken, and that evening, while chanting the kiddush, my elder boy looked over my shoulder and sang with me.
No, he wasn't really reading the words. He couldn't read that tiny English print, let alone the Hebrew, which he's only barely started learning. But he sort of pretended. He wants to learn this, folks. It's clicking; we are starting to identify with the Jew-related things...this is important to Mommy, this is something special that sets me apart, I want to learn more about this, etc.
I know it's possible to teach kids about their faith and get them to want to participate, without having them tell their friends years later, "yeah, I'm Jewish, but my parents forced it down my throat!" I heard kids say these words about their upbringing (Jewish and not), so this worries me. I think everyone rebels; the key is to make sure the connection is there, somewhere, so that the rebellion ends up as nothing but a temporary exception, an experiment that ultimately fails, and then the child is finally sure where he belongs.
************************
P.S. Here and there I'll be highlighting songs from Playlist 40. This is a song list I created for the occasion of my 40th birthday. Most of the songs have a connection to some event or period of time in my life. Many genres and eras are represented; something for everyone! I'm sure you'll find the stories are absolutely fascinating.
This is Tom Tom Club, founded by Tina Weymouth and Chris Frantz of Talking Heads. This song brings back memories of riding the bus to school, since it crossed over into the scope of my bus driver's favorite station, which never would have played Talking Heads in a million years. It also reminds me of the time I went to see Tom Tom Club and Tina W. came out onto the balcony to watch the opener. I react like a starstruck groupie to famous people, especially musician-types, so it was with jelly knees that I approached her to get an autograph.
There's no real story behind this one, but I chose it because sometimes someone puts you in the mood to shout out lyrics like "your conversation never sticks/'cause no truth in you exists/yeah, you bite before you lick/I love ya 'cause you're such a ______" A few of the Playlist 40 songs are the type you sing emphatically at someone, even if the someone isn't there to hear it. "It's moments like these I revel in."
I love The Seekers, in part because that guy playing the double bass wore the exact same glasses as my father. I've never seen this video before today but I LOVE Judith's dress. Oh, and it's a great song.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Practice
And now for a Xmas leftover:
Christmas is coming
The goose is getting fat
Please put a penny in the old man's hat
If you haven't got a penny
Then a ha'penny will do
And if you haven't got a ha'penny
Then god bless you!
And now, on to the real nitty gritty.
I should be posting here more often, because I've succeeded in attracting a number of beautiful and intelligent readers (you!) who will abandon me if there's never anything new here. Not purposely, of course, it's just how things are out here.
It is mostly lack of time that's keeping me away, but there's something else. I have been wanting to dress up this blog with a new purpose.
I was brought up observant; a Conservative Jew. My father was our congregation's cantor. We kept kosher. When I was attending public school, my parents took me out of school on holidays. We went to synagogue on those holidays, and on many of the Sabbaths. I transferred to Jewish private school along with my sisters. I am fairly fluent in Hebrew. I spent a semester in Israel. I went to Jewish summer camps. I had truly memorable Shabbat (Sabbath) experiences at camp, in Israel, at the Jewish Theological Seminary, and at a Yeshiva University-sponsored program.
I didn't think this would ever change. At High Holidays, we would look around at all the "once-a-year" Jews and feel proud that we weren't like that. Nevertheless, quite a bit of this life slipped away from me slowly as I moved away from home, started making my own decisions, changing my priorities.
Love for my faith was always there. Whenever I was neglecting a mitzvah, or eating something forbidden, I was aware of it. But now, in trying to reenergize this part of my life, trying to make sure that my children love Judaism the way I do, and care about it, I've run into a number of obstacles; time, money, attitudes, and other impediments.
I have been looking for a way to share all this here, and to chronicle my efforts. I've seen many times how supportive the people inside the computer (now inside the phone too!) can be. But this issue is so emotionally charged for me, and I'm afraid of being judged. I don't care if you criticize my really hot showers or my questionable parenting. But about this, I care. I'm also worried about inadvertently offending someone else.
On the other hand, if I tell you about this, you'll hold me accountable. On Five Full Plates there are five bloggers each committing to losing 10 pounds in the first 10 weeks of 2010. If one or more of them don't, we'll all know about it. They will be that much more motivated because their readers are keeping watch.
This subject isn't really all that funny at first glance, but then, with inspiration, or good drugs, I might be able to work around that. I'll definitely go off on entertaining tangents.
I've already said too much. I need to go lie down, or eat chocolate, or something. Talk amongst yourselves while I'm gone.
Christmas is coming
The goose is getting fat
Please put a penny in the old man's hat
If you haven't got a penny
Then a ha'penny will do
And if you haven't got a ha'penny
Then god bless you!
What I'd like to know is: Back then, did they use Cutco or Ginsu scissors to cut all those pennies in ha'?
******************
An interesting issue came up during the "holiday season," when a coworker was Queen of Decorating for her group's seasonal party. She had put together a lovely Xmas tree, but was warned that some party attendees might be offended. The Queen turned to her trusty Jewish advisors, yours truly and mutual friend Hank Azaria, and asked what we thought of this predicament. Hank and I were in agreement that the tree would be fine.
The fact is, these parties are called something besides "Christmas" parties to be inclusive, and that's very nice. But Christmas parties are really what they are. That's fine; as non-Xmas-celebrators we're happy to celebrate with you. It would be virtually impossible to accommodate everyone's religious affiliation when planning such an event, and it's better not to try. Some Jews will hope that you will have some sort of Chanukah decorations as well, and could be offended if you don't, but since this is not a Chanukah party I see no reason to do this, and don't really find it appropriate. Keep it simple. In the same vein, I am not offended if you wish me a Merry Christmas. People get all embarrassed and apologize when they "slip" and wish a Jew a Merry Christmas. Why? We appreciate the good wishes. It's fine. I may not speak for all Jews when I say this, and if you feel differently, please comment below.
********************************And now, on to the real nitty gritty.
I should be posting here more often, because I've succeeded in attracting a number of beautiful and intelligent readers (you!) who will abandon me if there's never anything new here. Not purposely, of course, it's just how things are out here.
It is mostly lack of time that's keeping me away, but there's something else. I have been wanting to dress up this blog with a new purpose.
I was brought up observant; a Conservative Jew. My father was our congregation's cantor. We kept kosher. When I was attending public school, my parents took me out of school on holidays. We went to synagogue on those holidays, and on many of the Sabbaths. I transferred to Jewish private school along with my sisters. I am fairly fluent in Hebrew. I spent a semester in Israel. I went to Jewish summer camps. I had truly memorable Shabbat (Sabbath) experiences at camp, in Israel, at the Jewish Theological Seminary, and at a Yeshiva University-sponsored program.
I didn't think this would ever change. At High Holidays, we would look around at all the "once-a-year" Jews and feel proud that we weren't like that. Nevertheless, quite a bit of this life slipped away from me slowly as I moved away from home, started making my own decisions, changing my priorities.
Love for my faith was always there. Whenever I was neglecting a mitzvah, or eating something forbidden, I was aware of it. But now, in trying to reenergize this part of my life, trying to make sure that my children love Judaism the way I do, and care about it, I've run into a number of obstacles; time, money, attitudes, and other impediments.
I have been looking for a way to share all this here, and to chronicle my efforts. I've seen many times how supportive the people inside the computer (now inside the phone too!) can be. But this issue is so emotionally charged for me, and I'm afraid of being judged. I don't care if you criticize my really hot showers or my questionable parenting. But about this, I care. I'm also worried about inadvertently offending someone else.
On the other hand, if I tell you about this, you'll hold me accountable. On Five Full Plates there are five bloggers each committing to losing 10 pounds in the first 10 weeks of 2010. If one or more of them don't, we'll all know about it. They will be that much more motivated because their readers are keeping watch.
This subject isn't really all that funny at first glance, but then, with inspiration, or good drugs, I might be able to work around that. I'll definitely go off on entertaining tangents.
I've already said too much. I need to go lie down, or eat chocolate, or something. Talk amongst yourselves while I'm gone.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tin Soldiers
I have a post in the works on everyone's favorite topic, religion. It's going to have to wait though, because my thoughts have been diverted for a short while.
Did you ever go into a movie theater, have an amazing dream, and wake up covered in popcorn? That's Avatar.
You can criticize it, sure. You can say there are clichés, or that the plot is old, or that some of it is predictable, but guess what? I DON'T CARE. And neither will you. See it. In 3D.
This film got me to thinking, and I'm not going to tell you what about, because I don't want to spoil it. One thing that happened is that this song started playing in my brain. I thought it should play in your brain too.
If anyone can play this on a guitar, a ukelele, an accordion, or whatever, it's perfectly in my range. Let's jam.
Did you ever go into a movie theater, have an amazing dream, and wake up covered in popcorn? That's Avatar.
You can criticize it, sure. You can say there are clichés, or that the plot is old, or that some of it is predictable, but guess what? I DON'T CARE. And neither will you. See it. In 3D.
This film got me to thinking, and I'm not going to tell you what about, because I don't want to spoil it. One thing that happened is that this song started playing in my brain. I thought it should play in your brain too.
If anyone can play this on a guitar, a ukelele, an accordion, or whatever, it's perfectly in my range. Let's jam.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
World's Worst Mother Teaches Responsibility
Thanksgiving. I woke up and thought about how my house was going to smell really good soon. But first, preliminary chores. For one thing, the bin we keep in the kitchen to collect recycleable cans, bottles, boxes, etc. was overflowing. I needed to bring it into the garage and empty it out.
Suddenly, I realized I did not have to do this task alone. On the couch were two little helper types, beings we are trying to teach stuff to, like: we all have to pitch in to get chores done! And: okay, you don't have to help me, but I don't have to make breakfast for you either! And: when People are coming over, the house needs to be tidier than usual! Which means help me right now or else!
I'm just kidding. The children were more than willing to put shoes on and accompany me to the garage. I showed them how to sort the cardboard and paper into one blue plastic county-provided bin, and the bottles and cans into another. We all cooperated, and it got done quickly and efficiently.
I knew that I had succeeded in instilling into my older son, Einstein, a sense of obligation, and of the importance of taking part in work as a family, when he said this:
"Mommy, I want to do this every Thanksgiving!"
Your traditions may include watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, baking pies, or impromptu football, but every year at the appointed time, without fail, my son will happily and proudly take out the recycling.
Suddenly, I realized I did not have to do this task alone. On the couch were two little helper types, beings we are trying to teach stuff to, like: we all have to pitch in to get chores done! And: okay, you don't have to help me, but I don't have to make breakfast for you either! And: when People are coming over, the house needs to be tidier than usual! Which means help me right now or else!
I'm just kidding. The children were more than willing to put shoes on and accompany me to the garage. I showed them how to sort the cardboard and paper into one blue plastic county-provided bin, and the bottles and cans into another. We all cooperated, and it got done quickly and efficiently.
I knew that I had succeeded in instilling into my older son, Einstein, a sense of obligation, and of the importance of taking part in work as a family, when he said this:
"Mommy, I want to do this every Thanksgiving!"
Your traditions may include watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, baking pies, or impromptu football, but every year at the appointed time, without fail, my son will happily and proudly take out the recycling.
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