Tuesday, January 10, 2012

World's Worst Mother Needs a Time Delay

The mechanic told us it would cost approximately a bazillion dollars to fix our car, and so we purchased a car that may not need not fixing just yet. It came with a trial of XM/Sirius Satellite Radio.

On the way back from a friend's Chanukah party, Einstein (8) asked if we could put on one of the Dance/Electronica stations. There are three. I chose at random. The song was interesting, but after a while there was singing of sorts, repetitive singing containing a lot of f-words. I hoped the cursing would be "fleeting" (see below for the U.S. Supreme Court connection here).

Whenever I heard the word, I dutifully exclaimed "BLEEP!"

Einstein said, "Mom, I already heard it. You don't have to say "bleep."

He is only a third-grader, you see, and although he is very smart, some things must still be explained. "I must say BLEEP because I am a RESPONSIBLE PARENT!"

Fast-forward a couple of weeks, and we're in a restaurant. Einstein is sitting next to his dad across from me and my 6-year-old, Pumpkin. Dad is talking about something emphatically and with expression and somewhere in there, an f-word is spoken. I hope the kids don't notice.

Pumpkin says something I don't catch, so I lean down and ask him to repeat it.

"It's okay," he said. "I bleeped."

My job is done.

[Totally Relevant Aside: The U.S. Supreme Court today heard oral argument in the FCC v. Fox case, which involves the issue of "fleeting expletives" and "fleeting nudity," both of which used to get a pass from the FCC. The Commission changed its tune somewhere along the line (probably after getting lots of complaints after things like the brief sighting of Janet Jackson's boob during the Super Bowl) and the high court must determine the (brace for seven-syllable word) constitutionality of the current FCC policy. Stay tuned, so to speak.]